**Update-- due to a large number of creepers coming to my blog from searching all sorts of dirty things I've changed around a few of the words here so maybe I won't get so many google hits about my behind.
I won't lie. I've got a big butt. I'm packing heat. I'm not saying that I'm Kim Kardashian or anything but I've never had any issues in the curves department.
Last weekend while walking around town my sweet and loving boyfriend decided that my personal super power would be my butt. That's right-- he named me the "Big Bo0ty Superhero". I would battle the evil Doctor Flat Butt whose behind was removed in a terrible accident, creating a never ending lust for revenge and the inability to sit comfortably on public transportation. I would battle my nemeses with a quick hip bump and the chant "Big Bo0ty Big Bo0ty- oh yea, Big Bo0ty!".
Embracing the goodness that is my behind I thought this was hilarious. Now if he had named me something like "Captain Muffin Top" I would not have been quite as amused.
Little did I know that Doctor Flat Butt really is out there and trying to zap my power one "Bo0ty Enhancing" pair of panties at a time. If you haven't seen them yet, let me introduce B0oty Pop. These padded panties come with a warning:
With just a little padding you too can go from a boring girl in an argyle sweater to a big b0otied sex siren with hair blowing in the wind.
Would you? Could you? HAVE you?