K-I-S-S-I-N-G

When I made stuffed baked leftover baked potato deliciousness a few weeks ago I wanted to google how to bake a potato in the microwave. But then I got distracted by the second to last suggestion "how to be a good kisser".

Que? Of course I was thrown off my dinner making course by this awesome search idea. Let me give you some background-- I think the meanest thing a person could say about me is that I'm a bad kisser. Call me a bad friend, stupid, or ugly and I can handle those. I can defend myself against those kind of accusations. But call me a bad kisser and OMG I have no defense! I mean... I've had repeat kissing customers. I have a boyfriend; if you have a boyfriend you are a good kisser, right? BUT WHAT IF I AM A BAD KISSER?

So, now you understand why this google search was eye opening for me. And now let me tell you about how it became HI-larious.

The first google response was from lifestyle.iloveindia.com and was written as a kissing tutorial for me (and I don't think just Indian men). I've taken the highlights of the article and left my comments in blue

It is said that just after one kiss, a woman comes to know whether you are the one she can spend her entire life with, or not. (oh please, if this was the case I would be spending my life with Daniel S, my first kiss who jammed his tongue down my throat at a football game, ah young lust) I’m sure that this one liner must have stressed the importance of kissing, for all you guys out there....

Kissing Tips & Techniques

• First things first! Make sure that your physical appearance is attractive. Otherwise, the other person will not even feel like kissing. (Not true if that person is wasted. Beer googles are always a good way to get a girl to kiss you)
  
• Kissing means using lips. (Oh shit. This explains so much...) Make sure you lips are soft and supple and for that, start using lip balm on a daily basis.
  
• Nobody wants to kiss garlic or onion or say, smoke. Do not kiss if you have just had smelly things for lunch or smoked cigarettes. At the same time, always keep mints with you, for that perfect fresh breath. (ALWAYS! you never know when you might need to plant a kiss after eating a tuna sami and smoking a pack)
  
• Always try different types of kisses. French kiss is not the only kiss in the world. (Just get ready for the list of kinds of kisses coming below. The can be summed up with three letters: WTF)
  
• Don’t become so lost in the kiss, so as to completely forget the other person. Be attentive to his/her non-verbal responses. (Creeping me out....)
  
• Lastly, be confident. Getting nervous while kissing is sure to make the beautiful sensations (still creeping me out. And why use bold on just the creepiest words?) end up in a mess. Just go with the flow.

Different Kiss Types

Many people believe that there are only two types of kisses - check kiss and French kiss. However, the realm of kiss is very vast. To know more, read on! (Ummm don't you know about the cow kiss where you fully lick someone else's head? no? must just be my friends...)

• In the Butterfly Kiss, you bring your face very close to that of your partner and then, flutter your eyelashes rapidly. (Okay... this is normal, I've heard of this... but I'm not going to break it out in a bar to seduce Chris)
  
• Earlobe Kiss involves sipping and sucking the earlobe of the partner. Since you are so close to the ear, do not make too loud noises. (Oh the mental audio here! slurp slurp slurp!)
  
• Considered an erotic kiss, Foot Kiss involves gently sucking the toes and then, kissing the foot very lightly. (SICK NASTY. seriously. the only way I'm putting a foot in my mouth is if it's thoroughly washed. nope. not even then. still making me want to barf.)
  
• Freeze Kiss, also known as Melt Kiss, is the one in which you put an ice cube into your mouth and kiss your partner, while passing the cube to his/her mouth with your tongue. (too. much. work.)
  
• While doing the Fruity Kiss, you put a piece of a juicy fruit between your lips. While kissing you nibble a part of the fruit, while he nibbles the other. (I like to call this The Lady and The Tramp)
  
• Hot and Cold Kiss involves first licking your partners lips to make them warm and then, blowing on them to make them cold. Keep alternating. (whhhhattt? I just imagine some poor 14 year old boy trying this and it becoming terribly awkward. ohhh or substitue 14 year with freshman in college and it gets even funnier)
• In Trickle Kiss, you take a sip of your favorite drink and then, trickle it into your partner’s mouth while kissing.(Yes, please dribble your backwash into my mouth... mmmmh the Fresca is delicious.)
• Wake Up Kiss is more about time than technique. Just before your partner is about to wake up, kiss him/her - starting with the cheeks and ending at the lips. Then, softly say - Good Morning! (In order to fully time this kiss stay up all night watching your partner sleep. Also quietly murmur "I love you pretty birdy. you're mine... all mine...")

Seriously? Who writes this stuff? Are people all across the world having "Trickle Kisses" followed by boldly kicking off their shoes and going for a "Foot Kiss"?

Don't worry kids. I have more kissing goodness saved up for tomorrow when I will share with you the most effed up test about kissing ever. Here, enjoy this sampling of what's in store:

Back in the saddle

Hello love bugs.

I'm back. Sorry for the absence lately. I've been in kind of a blogging funk and just couldn't become inspired to write and then I hadn't written anything and so it became even more cumbersome to write because I felt like "ACK now I must write something truly witty and entertaining to make up for not writing at all." Little did I know that the kick in the butt to start writing again would come from the IRS (not that this post will be witty or even slightly entertaining)(that comment was witty, right?).

Yes, you read that right, the IRS.

When we came home from lunch on Saturday Chris and I checked the mail and a had a letter from the IRS. My first thoughts were of panic. Serious panic. Why would the IRS be sending me a letter? Had I not paid something? It wasn't even March yet, tax aren't due for months. Oh God am I going to be audited? I don't even really know what that means!

And honestly, Chris was no help; I asked him if he had ever gotten a letter from the IRS and his exact words were "uh no. Why? Did you get one?" with a less than comforting tone of voice.

Being the incredibly brave girl (or am I technically a woman now at 24?) that I am I ripped the envelope open to find this message:

We're Sending you a Replacement Check

Our records show that you didn't cash you original refund check for tax year 2007. The original refund check was for $119.00.

WOOOHHOOOOO! I know it's only $119 but I'm still stoked! Seeing as I don't have a job right now this little surprise from my senior year of college will help to pay some bills! I mean, really this is basically free money! Oh but I do wish that I could go buy something pretty; maybe I'll take a little browse across the internet and just pretend to buy things?

I hope the IRS treats all of you so well this year! What would you do with an unexpected $119?

A Pinching Shoe

"The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that fits all cases."
Carl Jung

Never forget that you are each your own wonderful person and you must live the best life for you. It's hard, but try to not to give into the social pressures of life. You are you and that is always more than enough.

Happiness in my mailbox!

Happy Tuesday y'all!

Chris is away, as usual, at work Monday through Wednesday of this week and I miss him lots. He was working from home all last week and I think I got a little spoiled from being with him every day!

However, this little cutie arrived in my mailbox yesterday and brought a little piece of sunshine to my day:

I've never heard of Boden before; maybe I'm a little late on the game for this brand? Boden is evidently sold at Anthropology. I think I might be a little in love with "my" new discovery!

Here a short list of the items that I am dying for (please be aware that I LOVE surprise presents and feel free to gift accordingly!):

Scallop Trim Coat

Textured Cotton Shift
(I would seriously cut someone for this dress...)

Favourite Crew Neck Cardig
(Perfect for dear Stephanie who once told me that she was planning on dressing in all leopard when she was in her 80's-- because come on, when you're 80 you can do whatever you want!)

Rose Cardigan

Corsage Flower Necklace

I won't be buying anything since I'm leaving in just a few months with a backpack containing only the bare essentials but it was definitely fun to do some window shopping from my couch!

And lets be honest, how much cuter are the Boden models who are in natural-ish settings than the awkwardly posed models from some other catalog that rhymes with Schmay-Shrew?

VS.

Valentines Weekend in photos

Scrabble

Yum! Dum Sum

My Valentine!

Chinese New Year Parade

A lion to scare away evil spirits insuring us a year of good luck

I hope you all had an amazing weekend with the ones you love!

Not from this weekend but I melt a little every time I see this photo of a open grassy area in Berlin that had been mowed so that the heart was made of longer grass.

Leftover Stuffed Baked Potatoes

Happy Friday!

Chris and I have lots of plans for this Valentine's weekend; nothing romantic but I know that we will have an amazing time together.

Tonight we are going to a concert. We're seeing a Texas classic, Robert Earl Keen. We got our tickets for only $10 each (publicly priced at $25 each) on Groupon**. I'm really excited to see Robert Ear Keen, drink Shiner beer, and do a little two-stepping (you didn't know that I knew how to dance the 2-step did you?). Saturday we are going to a beer festival which is perfect because Chris L-O-V-E-S beer. When we lived in Dallas he brewed his own delicious beers! Sunday we are going to a Chinese New Year festival in Chicago's Chinatown.

One of my best friends from high school, Maggie, is also in Chicago this weekend visiting lots of friends (she used to live here) and I'm pumped to see her!

Get excited, I'm planning on taking lots and lots of pictures this weekend!

I also wanted to share the easy-peazy veggie packed dinner I made last night! It is super cold here in Chicago, I was starving, and I did not want to go to the grocery store; so I took a survey of what we had in the kitchen and ended up with these ingredients:

2 Russet Potatoes

1 Zucchini

1 container of cherry tomatoes

3 cloves of garlic

1 tupperware (I think about a cup and a half) of cooked chicken

1 scallion

Slice the zucchini long-ways into circles and then quarter, mince the garlic, and slice the scallions. I also pulled the chicken apart into bite sized pieces.

I "baked" the potatoes in the microwave for about 8 minutes followed my 10 minutes in the oven to make the skins a little crispy. At the same time I sautéed the garlic, zucchini, tomatoes, and chicken together with a dash of olive oil and sea salt. The last step was to cut open the potatoes and scoop on your warmed toppings! Don't forget to add the scallions (because I totally did!).

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend filled with the ones you love!

** You are using Groupon, right? Each they send out an email with offers. They have coupons in almost 50 cities. Think $40 worth of dinner for only $20 at a great local restaurant. There are also local deals for shopping, spas, local bakery. The deal is only for that day so you buy the deal through the website with a credit or debit card and then are issued a printable coupon with the deal that you can use for about 6 months or so.

I would say I've chosen only about 5% of the deals I've been emailed but the ones that I have chosen were awesome-- including 50% the expensive photography class I had already decided to take!

Here's the link: GROUPON!

My Grandmother is wittier than your Grandmother

There were a lot of reasons that I choose SMU for my college career but one of the main reasons was I have family history in Dallas. My parents were born and raised in Dallas, my Dad got his MBA from SMU, I was born in Dallas, and most of my extended family still lives in Dallas. I wanted to get away from North Carolina which felt suffocatingly small and to move far far away.

BUT then at the same time I was kind of a wuss and moved to a city where my Grandmother lived only 15 minutes away from my dorm. I loved living in the same city as my Grandmother, I saw her at least every two weeks for a meal, or a movie, or to take a walk. My Grandmother is 72 and still works, she does the New York Times crossword puzzle every day and even finishes the incredibly hard Sunday editions in pen! Not only is she super smart but she's hilarious.

This email chain between the two of us made me laugh out loud:

From: "My Witty Grandmother" wittygm{at}att.net

Date: Thu, 11 Feb 2010 10:21:57 -0600

To: 'meredith'goodbyedallashelloworld{at}gmail.com

Subject: RE: Hello!

Ha, ha. I heard your voicemail at home and I called you back and left a message! How long can this go on?

We have 4 inches of snow on the ground.

I’ll call you later today.

Love you!

From: 'meredith'goodbyedallashelloworld{at}gmail.com

Date: Thu, 11 Feb 2010 10:53:12 -0600

To: "My Witty Grandmother" wittygm{at}att.net

Subject: RE: Hello!

4 INCHES IN DALLAS? And you're at the office? How did you get there? Sled?

From: "My Witty Grandmother" wittygm{at}att.net

Date: Thu, 11 Feb 2010 12:23:34 -0600

To: 'meredith' goodbyedallashelloworld{at}gmail.com

Subject: RE: Hello!

Yes. My neighbor’s bichon frise pulled. She was heroic.